I know it’s early for New Year resolutions, but if you want to do what you resolve to do, you better start now so it’ll become a habit by December 31. If it’s not a habit by then, well your chances of sticking with your resolutions will be about as good as they were last year and the year before, going all the way back to your first New Year resolutions and then breaking it by Valentine’s Day, if not sooner.
If you really
want change, and we all do, then you need to start doing what you resolve to do
today (or the first chance you get) and continue to do it for the rest of
October, November and December. By then,
or after 21 consecutive days some experts say, it will become a habit . . . . Habits
are good, of course, so long as they are habits of doing what you want to do or
what you know is right for you to achieve your goals, whether those goals are
for your fitness and health, your relationships, your career, or your finances.
Most of us, at
times, have unwittingly fallen into bad habits, doing those activities that
undermine your success, your health, and even your relationships, both
professional and personal. You know what
they are. If you don’t, just ask yourself
how is your health? How are your
relationships? Are you doing the things
you know you should be doing (and with those you love) or are you letting
things slide, or worse, doing the exact opposite, engaging in risky, unhealthy
activities with others (getting drunk, getting into trouble, having affairs) or
even on your own like smoking, drinking, overeating, or spending all of your
free time on the Internet.
Then there are
habits of not doing; habits that you’ve fallen out of or gotten into the habit
of no longer doing on a regular basis, which can happen after an injury, a separation,
or your first child, or changing jobs or taking on new responsibilities at
work or at home (taking care of an invalid or an elderly relative). Or you just haven’t found a new fitness
center after moving to a new place.
After a while, what you no longer do is your new habit of not doing, like
no longer reading to your children at night (or reading period), or no longer
spending time with your family other than watching TV or meals.
What is the road
to hell paved with? Good intentions. We all have good intentions, but . . . well; what
follows next after that ‘but’ is the problem!
We talk ourselves into changing our bad habits to good habits, but then
we talk ourselves out of actually doing those things we know we should be doing.
Someone once said, “Argue for your
limitations and they’re yours!” If you
keep telling yourself you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not thin
enough, not fit enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not ______(fill
in the blank), then you’ll forever own those limitations!
Earlier this
year I challenged myself to run my first marathon, but in the weeks
leading up to the race I began to give myself all kind of reasons why I should
not run: my age, my knees, my lack of training, my concerns about potential
injuries, and the fact that I hadn’t competed in a race in thirty years (a 5K
fun run)! That wasn’t helping me, so I focused
on my goal of completing the marathon and started making lists of what I needed
to get done before the race, what I needed to wear/bring on the day of the race. Instead of arguing for my limitations, I
challenged myself to complete that marathon, and I did!
What can you
challenge yourself to do by next year?
It may not be athletic, maybe you want a closer relationship with your
spouse or children, or start your own business, or a second career as a writer
or an artist, or lose some significant weight, or make better financial
decisions for your retirement (it comes faster than you think!). What can you start putting into place right
now? What new habit can you start
working on today, this evening, tomorrow morning, or by this weekend? So by the time December 31st rolls around,
you’re well on your way to achieving your goal.
It’s what you do
right now that counts, not what you promise yourself you’ll start doing by the
New Year. Promises (even with the best
of intentions) are cheap, which is why they don’t work! Actions that turn into good habits are
priceless. They will benefit and serve
you for the rest of your life. They can
also serve as a model for your family and your children, too. If one of your goals is to be healthy and fit
and also spend more time with your spouse and children, think of the activities
you can do together to achieve both goals, like hiking or biking or swimming.
So get started
now and get a huge jump on everyone else waiting until December 31st to making
their resolutions. And good luck!
–Borneo Expat Writer
*Here’s a fun, practical way to raise your self-esteem, list down 25-50 of your personal achievements (even if they mean nothing to anybody else except you!)
**Leap For Success
***Start Your day by asking questions
Here are links to
four of my author to author interviews of first novelists:
Golda
Mowe author of Iban Dream and Iban Journey.
Preeta
Samarasan author of Evening is the Whole Day.
Chuah
Guat Eng, author of Echoes of Silence and Days
of Change.
Plus:
Five part Maugham
and Me series
Beheaded on
Road to Nationhood: Sarawak Reclaimed—Part
I
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